American Heat

Summer time is dawning here in the south. I have always been keen of the summer - late nights, beautiful (although humid) weather, and lots of sunshine. There aren’t too many things that beat the feeling of the sun charging your skin while you sit back and enjoy a frozen cocktail on a 95 degree day. At least that is what I have believed thus far in my life. Dopamine is flying, skin is frying, and the mind is stimulated to the max. In previous years, summers for me were all about the next body of water I could dip my toes in to (preferably with a beer in hand), or whose boat I could mooch my way on to. Regrettably I’ve not been to the beach since 2019, which seems abhorrent to anyone I share that with. I must admit, going to the beach in Destin, FL or Gulf Shores, AL is nothing but a waste of time and money in my brain. Sure it’s fun if you like getting plastered on a shitty pontoon in the gulf and finishing off each night eating at a local tourist-trap 2 star seafood restaurant, in which everything is fried in seed oils and battered with glyphosate sprayed flour. I would like to note that I am not passing on any judgement if this is you that I am explaining, to each their own! (And there certainly are cool things to do in these places, I am just poking some fun) As for me, I would rather hit the beaches in SoCal or the coast of east Florida, probably somewhere like Fort Lauderdale or something, but hey a beach is a beach I suppose. One thing I forgot to mention earlier is something that seems to follow me around like a needy dog during the summer months - melancholy. This, after all, is the premise of this article, not me riffing on about peoples vacations of choice.

By nature I am pretty low key and somewhat introverted. Things like joy, gratitude, and enthusiasm aren’t my default state. They don’t necessarily come naturally. I have to be actively present to experience these emotions or feelings, and sometimes it can feel forced, which makes me feel guilty at times because my life really is awesome. But that feeling unfortunately perpetuates this negative cycle even further. Nonetheless, I am an extremely happy and content person, by way of discipline and understanding that I cultivate my own reality. By no means am I where I want to be in life- emotionally, physically, and mentally I have still got a ways to go. I have to “act as if” at times to really exude the joy and gratitude that I ultimately want to emulate naturally. Something about this “act” is that it works- and it works quite well. When I practice this act, it allows me to connect with the good feelings that I desire on a more consistent basis and allows it to become reality, if I stay persistent. This brings me to the monster of melancholy.

As I stated at the beginning of this writing, summer is a beautiful time of year. But there are some things that allow melancholy to creep in and really put a dent in the ol’ spirit. For me, the most blatant form is this feeling arising within is the fact that in America, we work our asses off during the summer. I was blown away talking to some people I met in Europe that explained to me that they take at minimum one month off during the summer months (mostly in August) to vacation. A whole ass month! Sure, I could probably do this as well, but it would not go over that well at work and would certainly bleed my pockets dry. I have been pondering about micro-changes I could make in my life to allow me to experience the fullness of summer without having to take a month off of work, AND without looking forward to the weekends to get silly and drunk with the pals. (Side note- I refuse to live my life looking ahead to weekends, as I believe it is disrespectful and ungrateful to look past the weekday(s) you have been blessed with to live out. Live those days with the utmost gratitude and presence and your days will get much better. Truss!) Anyways, working in a building with minimal natural light staring at a computer is not the ideal way to spend a day in which the weather is magnificent. Some of the micro-changes that I have been implementing have steered the feelings of daytime melancholy away from the forefront of the mind. It is astounding to me that even the slightest changes in behavior can have profound effects on the soul- getting up from my desk every hour and stretching for a few minutes, preferably outside. Taking a quick walk up and down the street, going outside to peel and consume an orange, and (maybe) take off my shirt for a little 5 minute sun bath. Something about doing these banal and otherwise simple activities really boosts my mood and serotonin levels. Combatting the feelings of “I could be doing this” or “Look, this person is out of town again, must be nice!” is a challenge, especially when you desire a lifestyle that is not aligned with your current reality. But finding harmony in the mundane, in the facile yet freeing actions, is where the key to ultimate fulfillment and joy resides.

Now there is a different type of melancholic misery that also (typically) plagues my brain when summer time gets to heating up. The ever-present urge to do something, at all times. If I am not doing something extremely stimulating or fun at all times, what am I doing?! Personally, it makes me feel a little bit pathetic after the fact, but after all, what is so glorious about the constant desire to be entertained? Is there nothing better to allocate this precious time we have been gifted with to? It can be gut-wrenching to be cooped up in your house and seeing everyone on social media doing this or that, going places and doing all of “the things”. There is something ominous about feeling like you’re missing out on something, especially with people whose presence you enjoy. Things can absolutely get lonely and boring as hell at times when you are experiencing these emotions. “It is a beautiful summer evening, why am I not doing xyz?” This is a faulty way of thinking. By no means am I advocating for isolation or total boredom, as I am a firm believer in the need for dopamine-dumping activities and being with those you love as often as possible. But what I am saying is to take a step back and observe what you are doing. If you are experiencing these feelings, do not take the “woe is me” route- rather, create. Cook a kick-ass (healthy) meal, write a little bit. Do some yoga in the back yard. Read a book. Workout! Take a walk. Get in your vehicle and go somewhere. Plan a weekend trip. There are so many things that you can do that it is a massive injustice to focus on what you aren’t doing. If your friends aren’t tied up, invite them over and cook with them. Recently I have foregone eating out at restaurants (because they all cook with seed oils, lol) and have created some fond memories cooking with friends at the house or even by myself. I promise that the memories created during a cook sesh under your own roof are far greater than sitting in a tex-mex restaurant waiting on refried beans and greasy chicken enchiladas to come out of the (probably disgusting) kitchen.

Cultivating a life in which we love and wake up excited for day in and day out can seem like an impossible task most of the time, but the buck starts and stops with our decisions. If you can actively fight the melancholic summer blues and persist each and every day- the outcome will be greatly beneficial. You will exude joy and be a pleasure to be around.

The cloud of melancholy will not be a common theme for me this summer. I am denouncing it, shooting it down before it even has a chance to enter my brain space. I am loving the life I am living, and plan to stop at nothing to achieve the goals that I have set. Nothing will rain on my parade. Joy and gratitude will flow from me naturally at every moment. These are my affirmations for myself, and my prayer for you all. Cheers!